What can you hear with your eyes?
“Why can’t they learn how to speak plain English like the rest of us?”
Speech and language is a part of a person’s identity and no one should be forced to change their language variation, but even I have had experiences where I felt that people should speak Standard American English. Being an Asian American I can feel very isolated. I am obviously not white, but at the same time I am too white to be Asian. There are many times that I feel like I do not belong to either group.
Once there was a group of Chinese Americans in my class. I knew they could speak English, but they chose to speak in Chinese amongst themselves. Even though I am half Chinese, I grew up only learning English. I did not feel comfortable approaching them; I was just an outsider. People have come up to me speaking Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc, but once I open my mouth and English comes out, I can see disappointment in their eyes. Sometimes they continue their thoughts in English and others just smile politely and walk away; I am just an outsider. A woman came up to me once and automatically started talking in Chinese. I apologized and explained that I did not speak Chinese. She stopped and looked at me for a second.
“Are you Chinese?” she asks me.
“I’m half Chinese, half Japanese,” I responded.
“That’s why you face looks weird.”
I am still an outsider.
I had even more interesting interactions when I used to work at a Korean restaurant. Naturally there was the occasional Asian asking me “What kind of Asian are you?”(Which may sound rude, but is very common amongst Asians) but this was the first time I experienced Caucasians assuming what ethnicity I was and what languages I could speak. A man came up to me speaking Korean.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Korean,” I replied nicely.
“You work at a Korean restaurant, and you don’t speak Korean?” he inquires, in what I think he believes is in a joking manner.
“I’m actually Chinese and Japanese,” I informed. The man then automatically started speaking Chinese.
“Sorry, I actually don’t know Chinese.” He then switches to Japanese.
“Oh…I don’t know how to speak Japanese either…” He stops and just looks at me with a shocked face.
“…I’m learning though,” I tried to add with a forced smile.
Even when I am with whites, I am not one of them. They try to group me with other Asians, but when I cannot speak anything other than English, they too give off the feeling that I am not Asian enough. Language variation is a way to express oneself and to see who is a part of the group or an outsider. So what happens when you do not belong to either? What group does that put me in? I began to wonder what people think when they see me. What do they hear when they look at me?
Speech and language is a part of a person’s identity and no one should be forced to change their language variation, but even I have had experiences where I felt that people should speak Standard American English. Being an Asian American I can feel very isolated. I am obviously not white, but at the same time I am too white to be Asian. There are many times that I feel like I do not belong to either group.
Once there was a group of Chinese Americans in my class. I knew they could speak English, but they chose to speak in Chinese amongst themselves. Even though I am half Chinese, I grew up only learning English. I did not feel comfortable approaching them; I was just an outsider. People have come up to me speaking Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc, but once I open my mouth and English comes out, I can see disappointment in their eyes. Sometimes they continue their thoughts in English and others just smile politely and walk away; I am just an outsider. A woman came up to me once and automatically started talking in Chinese. I apologized and explained that I did not speak Chinese. She stopped and looked at me for a second.
“Are you Chinese?” she asks me.
“I’m half Chinese, half Japanese,” I responded.
“That’s why you face looks weird.”
I am still an outsider.
I had even more interesting interactions when I used to work at a Korean restaurant. Naturally there was the occasional Asian asking me “What kind of Asian are you?”(Which may sound rude, but is very common amongst Asians) but this was the first time I experienced Caucasians assuming what ethnicity I was and what languages I could speak. A man came up to me speaking Korean.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Korean,” I replied nicely.
“You work at a Korean restaurant, and you don’t speak Korean?” he inquires, in what I think he believes is in a joking manner.
“I’m actually Chinese and Japanese,” I informed. The man then automatically started speaking Chinese.
“Sorry, I actually don’t know Chinese.” He then switches to Japanese.
“Oh…I don’t know how to speak Japanese either…” He stops and just looks at me with a shocked face.
“…I’m learning though,” I tried to add with a forced smile.
Even when I am with whites, I am not one of them. They try to group me with other Asians, but when I cannot speak anything other than English, they too give off the feeling that I am not Asian enough. Language variation is a way to express oneself and to see who is a part of the group or an outsider. So what happens when you do not belong to either? What group does that put me in? I began to wonder what people think when they see me. What do they hear when they look at me?